• In the face of fear, failure and rejection

    I DO fear failure and rejection, and I guess most people do. But what I also do – or what I do not – I do not let myself hold back from my fear. I learned that I have the capability to cope with my fear, finding ways to deal with it, acting in spite of it, yes even making use of it, all in order to grow mentally and to get stronger than I ever was.

  • (Sexual) Objectification

    We objectify people all the time. Be it the waitress in a restaurant, the taxi driver in a cab or the news speaker of your preferred TV channel, they all serve a certain purpose, cater to a specific need, when doing their jobs. A need that YOU wish to be fulfilled. It's just when we get into some sort of sexual context, that we become increasingly aware and cautious, probably because sexuality by its nature addresses some of the most basic (animal) instincts and emotions in us. It addresses our unconscious and all that we love and can hate so much. Yet all these people who serve your specific needs are complete and fully featured human beings, with a heart and a brain, with family and friends, living their own lifes, just as you do. As long as you are aware of this fact, your behaviour regarding these human beings should hopefully be appropriate.

    Let us not fight the symptoms by pushing away what has been an intrinsic part of human nature and history since the beginning of mankind, and this is sexuality and nudity and desire. Let us not fight the symptoms by blending out what will then still be there. Instead let us work on the underlying core issue, which is a psychological one rooted deep within ourselves. An issue that will become even more severe by hiding it from ourselves and by denying that it exists.

  • Thoughts about intrinsic kindness

    Look around in this world and you'll notice: The 'trading' of goods, deeds and feelings is daily routine in many places. We tend to accept this as normal, as the way the world goes, as it always will be, but this is NOT true. We're just used to a certain style of thinking, because when we were little, we got this thinking 'implanted' into our heads. We learned, that it is ok to expect a reward for being good and fair. This thinking to me is plain wrong. We do not need many material things to survive AND be happy. We can give more of what we have to those who have not. Rising awareness to our own behaviour means being able to change it. I believe we can do much better than we do now.

  • Thoughts about intimacy

    In the past I often felt misunderstood. I had a hard time to 'just party' with the seemingly happy crowd. Today I still don't want to 'just party' (though I have to from time to time), but I got to know myself better and I realized, that I like to be very close and very intimate only to a few selected people. I learned to listen to my heart and I developed this incredibly fine sensitivity towards the intentions and emotions of another person. I learned to sense (and to appreciate), when he or she feels the same way like I do. Most of these 'soulseeking' people, that I encounter now, are female by the way. There are men too, of course, but they are rare. Eventually it dawned on me, that partly this phenomenon is about me, my goals, my dreams, my wishes and partly about the fact, that for a huge share of the (german male) population it must be difficult to put down their shields — just as it was for me.

  • True listening

    A while ago I've been a guy who would frequently interrupt a conversation partner, mainly because of my own impatience and my urge to express my thoughts and opinions, while at the same time not actually valuing the thoughts and opinions of my dialogue partner. Today this still happens from time to time, but much less frequently so. The most important change, I think, which happened to me regarding this, is, that today I consciously realize when I interrupt a person in speech. I then allow myself to step back from my personal urge to speak and instead I say this: "Sorry, I just interrupted you. Please go on with the things you wanted to say."

  • Mindful photography

    It happens frequently, that I see people at events, at concerts or birthday parties, constantly snapping and snapping, taking one picture after another, some of them seemingly not being able to part with their camera (or smartphone for the matter). But oh well, me thinks, anyone shall do as he pleases. There are several other things in the world concerning me more, than people taking pictures of moments happening to them, without actually noticing these moments. Me, I deliberately choose to put a camera to my eye and I deliberately choose to put it away, sometimes far away, in order to be part of a moment. There are things in life, which are much more important to me than my camera or getting the picture [sic].

    Yet, to me ultimately the single most important factor for experiencing a moment in all its glory is not whether I'm taking pictures of that moment or whether I'm not, but how I treat that moment regarding my consciousness. As long as I go my way consciously, that is, as long as I do not just keep snapping and snapping, unconsciously, taking one picture after another, unconsciously, but instead experience the world around me with a thoroughly conscious mind, I can feel great enjoyment deriving from any moment right here and right now. As I experience that moment consciously, which means I'm not just physically present, but I actually take part of it, along with my body and my soul, both physically and mentally, I will be able to enjoy this moment and to store it in my memory. And sometimes, if I'm lucky enough, I will get that wonderful and memorable picture too.

  • My personal view on 'narcissism'

    A 'narcissist' (I don't like such labels) is a human being that desires to be loved. He or she is just not aware of this fact. Maybe because he lacks in the skill of compassion. And here I mean compassion for others but also for himself, with the latter one being absolutely essential. Maybe the walls, that protect a 'narcissist' from being injured, are so very thick and high, that many of the enjoyable emotions in life are simply unable to pass through.

    But like any human being also a 'narcissist' can learn things, which are currently unknown to him. He can learn how to feel for himself and for others, that is, if he is willing to crash the walls, and if he is willing to feel what lies behind these walls. One must be willing to feel the joy *and* the pain of being alive altogether. Both of these things are always there, yin & yang. None of them goes without the other. If you protect yourself from the 'bad' experiences and feelings in life too much, that is, if you are not willing to feel the 'bad' things behind the wall, then you will shield yourself and drive yourself away from all the 'good' things out there as well.

    Me, I have been a man previously diagnosed with a minor tendency for narcissism and a major tendency for anxiety. But I eventually learned how to grow the love in my heart, and as I see the world now, I am in love with everybody and everything in this world and beyond. Love is the only force known to me, which is not using force (wei wu wei) and at the same time comprises the power to change your world simply by changing your personal view and take on the world. And it is love that has the power to make you and the ones that you love feel free.

  • Would you choose to be yourself?

    If you say "no", you should seriously start thinking and do something. Anything. Because doing anything and acting foolish would still be better, than doing nothing at all. In the end having acted foolishly and having learned from mistakes will prove to be way better, than regretting all the things you could have done and you could have been, but never did and never really were.

  • Good or bad?

    To me personally there's no such thing like a "bad day". Good and bad in general are misconceptions based on the human brains tendency to judge and evaluate things that simply do happen, day in and day out. For example: What if on a "bad day" you suddenly start doing things, that you call "good things"? Will this day then still be a "bad day" or will it be a "good day"? A day is what we make of it. Don't bother with the "bad things", at least the ones which you can't change anyway. "Bad things" will always be there, no matter what you do or say or think or feel. Maybe you can't change some or most of them, but at least you can change your thinking, your focus. You can focus your energies on things that you would normally call "good things". Your own thoughts and actions may happily surprise you and convert your "bad day" to become a "good day" or even a lovely day.

    Carpe diem.